Archive for July, 2010

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A Lesson In Customer Service (and dealing with people)

Friday, July 30th, 2010

One time, early in my entrepreneurial days, I was dealing with a rather difficult and demanding customer. I was in a rush and happened to write an email that was straight to the point. There was nothing particularly wrong with it – it wasn’t offensive or anything – but it did not have the usual pleasantry fluff. She lost it at that point and showered me with a number of ‘compliments’, but there was one thing in particular that stood out and served me as a very good lesson in further communication with all clients (and people). She said that “you’ll attract more bees with honey than vinegar.” How true!

Scolding or lecturing people rarely works, and I would go so far as to say that it never works. People can’t stand criticism and rarely see themselves at fault anyway. We always justify our actions to ourselves and to others and find excuses to feel OK about them. Fighting this is to go against human nature, which always a losing affair. Instead, it is much more effective to find more constructive and positive ways to deal with people.

In other words, be nice! And enjoy the long weekend!

Until Tuesday,

V

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On Education

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

“Education is the ability to meet life’s situations.”
- John Hibben

What an elegant way to put it, don’t you think? For quite some time I had a misconception that it is the grades, diplomas, degrees, and your IQ that determined your level of education and predicted your level of success in life. I don’t believe that anymore; in fact, that is probably pretty far away from the truth.

I said several times before that knowledge by itself is rather useless. The application of knowledge is powerful. But it’s rare that the challenges life presents us with have a lot to do with our formal education. Most of the time, at least in my experience, I have to deal with things not related to Engineering. We do well when we are able to deal with, and overcome those challenges, and that is true ‘education’.

Until next time,

V

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Friendships

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

This would be quite challenging for me to verify, so definitely do not take this as something substantiated; this is more of my gut feeling that has only been confirmed by a few people. My sense is that concepts of friendship are very different in Canada/US and some other places (I can only speak for Russia/Ukraine, but people who are familiar with other cultures have expressed similar feelings). How different? They seem to lack real warmth and a genuine connection.

The best analogy that I can come up with to relate approach to friendships to how where we live. In most of the world, due to lack of space, or money, or both, people live in smaller places and are closer physically to each other and to their neighbours. Here, on the other hand, people seem to strive to get their own houses, on large, fenced-off lots. Each member of the family has their own room and there is often even a room or two for when the guests visit. You kind of know the neighbours, but not really. Even though we still live in cities, we seem sheltered and removed from others by the physical barriers that we build.

What do I base this on? Mostly the gut feeling that I get from dealing with people and observing different relationships. For instance, the interaction between two best friends appears to me very different for someone ‘local’ vs two best friends back where I was born.

There is a good chance though that I am completely wrong here, and that my gut feeling arises from the fact that I was born and raised in a different culture, even though I was pretty young when I moved to Canada. Maybe it is simply that I still don’t fully understand the North American culture. Your thoughts?

Until next time,

V

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What Does Effort Have To Do With It?

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

Research shows that the more effort you put into something, the more satisfied you are with the results. One study measured the satisfaction that students experienced with their new fraternity membership, and how much they valued it. One group went through a very intense initiation process that was obviously far from enjoyable, while the other group had to simply fill out an application. Both groups were applying for the same fraternity, so there was no difference in terms of status of the group. As I suggested earlier, the group that went through the initiation was much more satisfied with their membership and valued it a lot more than the other group. We remember all the sweat and tears, and that makes the outcome worth while (even if the outcome is the same). So I guess that saying is true after all, that “without the bitter baby, the sweet ain’t as sweet!”

There is a little counter-intuitive aspect to this, since we are living in the world where everything is supposed to become faster and easier to do or get. But if you take this research seriously, people will like your product or service more if they have to jump through some hoops to get it. Think about it this way, if you need to see a lawyer, and he or she is available in the next 30 minutes, that is convenient. But if the same lawyer is booked for the next 3 weeks, and asks you to send an email with your urgent request and then asks you to come at some odd time for a consultation, you’ll be much more pleased with this experience than the first one.

Until next time,

V

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Spiritual Mind Treatment (07.26.2010)

Monday, July 26th, 2010

Join me in knowing that…

Life is a perfect, harmonious dance of all the things in existence, and I am part of this dance as much as everyone else. The rules of this dance of Life are precise and they are powerful, while being totally impersonal and lacking the ability to judge and decide; they form the Law. Ignoring this does not exclude one from the effects of the Law, much like ignoring gravity does not prevent one from smacking the ground. It is evident to me that the Law responds to my state of mind and brings into my experience more of the things I focus on. When I focus on the good in life, I get more good in life, and that is what I choose to do. I focus on love, health, abundance, joy, and happiness, and as I enjoy these states in my life and am grateful for them, I allow more to come. With sincere gratitude I allow the Energy of Life to flow through me. I let it all go and I let it be. And so it is.

Until next time,
V

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“One Convinced Against His Will Is Of The Same Opinion Still”

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

We all heard that before, right? What’s interesting is that it is totally true, and it is true because we do not approach arguments and debates with an open mind. We can be convinced of an opinion when we are yet to form a belief system on the subject, but when we have made up our minds about something, having debates and arguments will not help bridge the belief gap.

If we approached different points of view rationally, being exposed to arguments by the other side should make us re-consider our position. This cannot be further away from the truth. There was an interesting experiment done where two people with different points of view were given two academic papers to read. Both papers were written equally well by equally qualified experts in the field. One paper presented a set of arguments for one view, while the other presented a set of arguments for a conflicting view. Again, if we approached this rationally, reading two expert papers on the subject that present opposing points of view should have made the two parties move closer towards the middle ground on the issue. What happened, thought, was that the two people moved even further apart as they became even more convinced of their own point of view. They praised the ‘well-written’ paper that supported their view and ruthlessly critiqued the other ‘poorly-written’ paper for even the minor things.

The human nature is fascinating, don’t you think?

Until Monday,

V

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The Key Is In The Relationships

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Relationships with other people play a vital role in our lives. It all stems back to the times our ancestors lived in caves, when creating, building, and maintaining relationships with other members of the tribe is what allowed them to survive in that environment. It simply was not possible to mature and leave offspring without it. As the society evolved, that basic importance of relating to others has not changed.

Today our survival, success, and even happiness depends on the quality of the relationships that we are able to develop. When we are born, it is essential for us to create a bond with our mothers in order to survive. Our happiness is correlated to the health of our relationships with other people. And success is really all about ‘who you know’.

Can you make it ‘on your own’? Sure. But it will never be as quickly, or to the same degree as when you involve other people. Connections are huge, and this holds true around the world. At the end of the day, people can open doors for you, and I’m willing to bet that there is a very strong positive correlation between the number of such people that you know and your success.

Until next time,

V

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Relationships And Cocaine

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

A couple of days ago I read about a study, done at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, that found post break-up symptoms similar to those of a cocaine withdrawal. No wonder people sometimes do crazy stuff after a break-up in an attempt to get the other person ‘back’. I guess the key is to be emotionally invested in the relationship; if one is happy that a relationship is over, this probably does not apply.

Now I wonder, does this also apply to non-romantic relationships? And how about family members, when they pass on, for instance?

Until next time,

V

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Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs And Commerce – Part 2

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Last Friday I summarized the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and pointed out that a similar hierarchy applied to business as well.

When a person starts a business, especially if it’s their first one, they start at the bottom of the ‘pyramid of needs’. This person will do almost anything to get things moving – they will cold-call, randomly visit other businesses, leave flyers, go to networking events, and take on pretty much any job that comes their way. This is similar to the ‘Physiological/Safety Needs’ described by Maslow, only applied to business.

As the business grows, establishes itself, builds a reputation, and clients start coming in, the owner becomes more selective. He or she will stop doing the really uncomfortable things, like cold-calling for example, and will maybe just get someone else to distribute the flyers. The owner may fire some annoying clients and start filtering the incoming prospects so that the business gets to serve a higher ratio of ‘better’ customers (whatever that means for the given business). This is where the business meets the ‘Esteem Needs’ of self-esteem, confidence, and achievement.

When the business becomes a powerhouse to be reckoned with, it will likely develop a bigger purpose. It will want to try to revolutionize the industry by doing something no other company has accomplished, or possibly even tried. It will set grandiose goals and come up with an inspiring mission statement. At this point, chances are, the business only focuses on what the company culture as a whole is really passionate about. It is working on the ‘Self-actualization Needs’.

There is a strong parallel between the individual needs and the ‘business needs’ because it is people who run businesses. As the business grows, more of their individual needs are met, which shifts them up the pyramid, which also shifts their business focus.

Until next time,

V

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Spiritual Mind Treatment (07.19.2010)

Monday, July 19th, 2010

There is one main purpose in Life that is showcased time and time again – growth and expansion. When any living or non-living thing stops growing, it starts disintegrating and ‘dying’ away. It is true of plants, animals, and even the mountain rangers. I know it to be true true of my body, my mind, and my consciousness as well. My vision requires growth in all of the areas of my life, and so with grateful and welcoming attitude I feed my body and soul with healthy nourishment. I’m grateful for this day, and for this awesome moment that is filled with bliss. I let go and I let it be. And so it is.

Until next time,

V

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