Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

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The Key Is In The Relationships

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Relationships with other people play a vital role in our lives. It all stems back to the times our ancestors lived in caves, when creating, building, and maintaining relationships with other members of the tribe is what allowed them to survive in that environment. It simply was not possible to mature and leave offspring without it. As the society evolved, that basic importance of relating to others has not changed.

Today our survival, success, and even happiness depends on the quality of the relationships that we are able to develop. When we are born, it is essential for us to create a bond with our mothers in order to survive. Our happiness is correlated to the health of our relationships with other people. And success is really all about ‘who you know’.

Can you make it ‘on your own’? Sure. But it will never be as quickly, or to the same degree as when you involve other people. Connections are huge, and this holds true around the world. At the end of the day, people can open doors for you, and I’m willing to bet that there is a very strong positive correlation between the number of such people that you know and your success.

Until next time,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Success | 1 Comment »

Relationships And Cocaine

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

A couple of days ago I read about a study, done at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, that found post break-up symptoms similar to those of a cocaine withdrawal. No wonder people sometimes do crazy stuff after a break-up in an attempt to get the other person ‘back’. I guess the key is to be emotionally invested in the relationship; if one is happy that a relationship is over, this probably does not apply.

Now I wonder, does this also apply to non-romantic relationships? And how about family members, when they pass on, for instance?

Until next time,

V

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Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs And Commerce – Part 2

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Last Friday I summarized the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and pointed out that a similar hierarchy applied to business as well.

When a person starts a business, especially if it’s their first one, they start at the bottom of the ‘pyramid of needs’. This person will do almost anything to get things moving – they will cold-call, randomly visit other businesses, leave flyers, go to networking events, and take on pretty much any job that comes their way. This is similar to the ‘Physiological/Safety Needs’ described by Maslow, only applied to business.

As the business grows, establishes itself, builds a reputation, and clients start coming in, the owner becomes more selective. He or she will stop doing the really uncomfortable things, like cold-calling for example, and will maybe just get someone else to distribute the flyers. The owner may fire some annoying clients and start filtering the incoming prospects so that the business gets to serve a higher ratio of ‘better’ customers (whatever that means for the given business). This is where the business meets the ‘Esteem Needs’ of self-esteem, confidence, and achievement.

When the business becomes a powerhouse to be reckoned with, it will likely develop a bigger purpose. It will want to try to revolutionize the industry by doing something no other company has accomplished, or possibly even tried. It will set grandiose goals and come up with an inspiring mission statement. At this point, chances are, the business only focuses on what the company culture as a whole is really passionate about. It is working on the ‘Self-actualization Needs’.

There is a strong parallel between the individual needs and the ‘business needs’ because it is people who run businesses. As the business grows, more of their individual needs are met, which shifts them up the pyramid, which also shifts their business focus.

Until next time,

V

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Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs And Commerce

Friday, July 16th, 2010

I am pretty sure that you are familiar with the Mr. Maslow and his ‘hierarchy of needs’ pyramid. In case you are not, I’ll try to summarize it for you. It is pyramid made of 5 levels of different needs and the lower level must always be met before we can effectively become concerned about the needs on the higher level. The 5 levels are as follows (starting at the lower one):

  • Physiological (air, food, water, sleep, etc)
  • Safety (security for the ‘self’, stable employment, etc)
  • Love/Belonging (friendship, family, intimacy, etc)
  • Esteem (self-esteem, confidence, achievement, etc)
  • Self-actualization (morality, creativity, problem-solving, etc)

Trying to tackle ‘self-actualization’ needs when your ‘basic safety’ needs are not met, will not be effective according to Maslow’s theory. And it makes sense.

Now to switch gears a little bit, in my conversations with different people who have their own businesses, and from what I gathered from interviews with some very successful individuals, I have noticed that their business approach falls into somewhat of the similar hierarchy. And it seems to be related to how well the business (or the entrepreneur) is doing. [ This post is going to be quite long if I cover the rest of what I want to mention, so I’ll leave that for next week. ]

Until Monday,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Success | 1 Comment »

Natural Gifts

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Last night I met up with a few friends and, as usual, we got to talking about some interesting, thought-provoking topics. At one point we talked about ‘natural gifts’ and ‘talents’. It was back to the nature vs nurture argument – are our genes or our environment responsible for who we are, what we are good at, what we do, what we like, etc. This particular conversation was focused on the business side of things.

The main question was whether it was possible to teach entrepreneurship to someone or whether it was just something you either had a knack for or you didn’t. One person said that many very successful business people talk about entrepreneurship essentially as an instinct that can be somewhat refined but that cannot be taught. You either have it or you don’t. On the other side of the table was an argument that entrepreneurship is a skill, and like all other skills, it can be taught and perfected with enough practice.

I wonder, where do you fall in? What do you think?

My own belief is that entrepreneurship exemplified by people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, and the likes cannot be taught. These people are superstars of the business world and must have a natural aptitude for it, much like Michael Jordan was ‘born to play basketball’. However, while there is only one Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James, there are plenty of players in the supporting roles – players who also made it to the NBA. Business is very similar in my opinion. To play in the ranks of Gates, Jobs, and Buffett, you need to be born a certain way, but to run a generally successful company, you do not. You just need to get really good at something and turn it into cash flow.

Until next time,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Success | 1 Comment »

Loving What You Do

Friday, July 9th, 2010

What a difference it makes when you are excited and motivated by what you do. It is a rather obvious statement in and of itself, but the implications are pretty serious. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been on both ends of the ‘excitement’ spectrum. There were times when the things I was doing felt like a total grind and there were other times when I couldn’t wait to get working on something. The difference in the quality of experience, and in how I perceived life at those different times, is tremendous.

It would be amazing if every day work was that challenging, that exciting, and that motivating. If you have achieved that state, that is incredible. Chances are that regardless of what you do, there will be days that feel like a drag. However, iif most of the days are the opposite, then you have probably achieved something that most people only dream of.

I do believe that every person has had the two types of days, even if the days of great excitement were not due to work (though if it was work-related, that should be easier to explore and analyse). Looking into what factors made the day so great should provide you with some valuable insight into what you may want more out of your work. Then, hopefully, as you integrate more of those factors into your daily job requirements, you’ll have more of the times when your vocation becomes your vacation.

Until Monday,

V

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Posted in Energy, Psychology, Success, Taking Action | 1 Comment »

We Are Not Hardwired

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

While there is a lot of research being done on our fascinating brains, there are still many unanswered questions. When there are such questions, scientists come up with theories as to how things work in order to test them. For some time it was thought that once our brain circuitry is developed, it is there to stay. Interestingly there is more and more evidence that contradicts that claim and shows that we are in fact not hardwired and that our circuitry can change over time.

This is very encouraging actually. First, it has great optimistic implications for people who suffer some sort of injury or disease that affects the brain. If the brain circuitry can change and regenerate under favourable conditions, our brains can be restored, fully or otherwise, and regain lost functionality. But research also shows that we can change our circuitry by conscious effort and practice. With enough will, even the most ingrained habits and personality traits can be changed. It won’t happen overnight, but research shows that it is definitely doable. So keep working on that ‘self’…

Until next time,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Success | 1 Comment »

Paralysis By Numbers

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Maybe this stems from our pre-historic times where survival was dependent on staying with the group, but to this day people find it very difficult, if not outright impossible to go against the ‘group-think’. Essentially, if the group is doing something, an individual who is part of the group will find it very difficult to go against it. We see evidence of this everywhere.

Crowd control is a very serious issue for law-enforcement agencies, since if aggressive or violent behaviour gets beyond one or two individuals, the mob-mentality takes over and at that point it’s like the G20 Summit in Toronto. In companies group psychologists showed time after time that it is good to have a person on a team who is comfortable with challenging ideas. Otherwise, there could be a number of people who are afraid to speak up, and end up going along with the decision they don’t like. In a classroom setting, good teachers tell their students to ask any question that they may have, since chances are, there are other people in the class with the same question who are simply afraid to ask.

This also ties into personal growth. An individual will find it very difficult to succeed at anything, if the people around them are not supportive. That is why it is a wise decision to surround yourself with people who are where you want to be and have the things you want to have, or at least are heading that way. Otherwise, you’ll try a couple of things, and by doing so you’ll start to stand out from the group. That will feel uncomfortable for most people, and the group will pull you back to where you started.

I’m taking a day off tomorrow to enjoy the long weekend. Until Monday,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Relationships, Success, Taking Action | 2 Comments »

Emotional Decision Making – Part II

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Last week I wrote a post on how high emotion leads to low intelligence and results very often in poor decisions. At the end I said that there are very few instances where emotions have a place in making decisions. In the time that followed, I got a couple of comments on the post, so I thought I’d take another stab at it. What I was trying to say last week was that really strong emotions, like when we are head-over-heels in love, or when we are so angry that steam is coming out of you ears, strongly affect the quality of our decisions. Very often we look back and regret the things we have done or said. These are the situations that the ‘high emotion – low intelligence’ comment refers to.

Emotions in themselves, when they do not take control of you, are actually vital to sound decision making. Reason and emotion go hand in hand. In 1848, there was a remarkable case of Phineas Gage in Vermont. Phineas Gage survived a head injury that took out his abilities to experience emotions, but left his reasoning capabilities perfectly intact. The accident made it very difficult for him to make any decisions, even trivial ones, whereas prior to the injury that was not the case.

We rely on emotions to tell us whether something ‘feels right’ or somehow just doesn’t. We trust that gut feeling and without it we seem unable to reason our way to a conclusion. So emotions are not bad unless they start to overtake you.

Until next time,

V

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Posted in Psychology, Success, Taking Action | 1 Comment »

“Rules Are Made To Be Broken”

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

You heard that before, right? So this post is more on the ‘morality’ of things. I am going to go out on a limb here and state that everyone has broken rules at one point or another. So what makes it OK to break the rules? Are all the rules meant to be broken? If not, what determines whether it is OK to break a rule or not? I am just curious. I am not expecting any confessions here; instead I’d like to find out where different people stand on the concept of ‘rules’.

When it comes to the rules themselves, do we even need them? What I mean is, do we need rules to tell us how to behave, or do we have some sort of intrinsic understanding of what is OK and not OK to do? I’ve heard an argument, that I personally don’t agree with, that people need religion to tell them what is right and what is wrong, implying that if we did not have the ‘ten commandments’, we would not know that it is not OK to kill another. So if we do know that it is not right to do certain things, why have written rules for them? And if we do not, then maybe it’s not all that bad?

As you can see, there are a lot more questions in this post than answers. Again, I’m curious as to what the different opinions are, so the questions are there to get your mental juices flowing.

Until next time,

V

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Posted in Psychology | 2 Comments »

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